félicité nivea

Some weeks following my 11th birthday in Fall 2002, I had a dream where inside a blank space made of white light, my maternal grand-mother introduced me, in a frontal and quite ceremonious way that wasn’t of the customs of my family, to a very tall blue-eyed blonde young woman she told me was called Felicia and was 19 years of age.

Felicia said « Salut » to me with a big smile, visibly happy to meet me. She was slim, wearing a white tank top and a jeans, her hairs styled in a ponytail, had a generous cleavage between her slender arms. And when I naturally approached her to kiss her on the cheek like I would to a relative, Felicia, bending down on me so our faces could reach one another, herself with a concerned look down on me before the act as if she knew what she was about to do to me, instead kissed me on the lips at the last moment, waking me up with a fresh sensation over my labial area.

I remember this as if it was yesterday. I was lain over my bed sheets in a strange posture, my head on the foot side of my bed, dressed in my regular cloths rather than my pyjama for some reason, as if I was too tired to properly go to bed the night before. The house was silent, maybe deserted for the time. It was sunny outside, like minutes before noon, so it had to have occured during a weekend, or most likely the vacations of Thanksgiving. And I wanted to fall back asleep to see if I could reach out to her again ; in vain.

I’ve never heard the name Felicia before this dream — very rare in France and quite uncommon in Italy, I first came across it through Felicia from the Darkstalkers videogame serie and Felicia Hardy from Spiderman, around 2008-2009. And as I already had two childhood lovers about my age at the time, called Angélique and Alysée, I wasn’t into taller and older girls, had no particular interest for any tall girl from school or elsewhere. At the time of the dream, there was a singer called Lorie who was popular and looked alike archetypically at least, and it’s the only visual clue I can think of ; but I would have dreamt of that person otherwise, and the informations given in this dream were too particular and out of reach to me to concern anything from my everyday life back then.

Technically, the second dream I’ve had of her was around 2007, where I met her at the end of an aisle in a supermarket, looking as tall as she was, dressed in the same cloths but with a very short crop jacket this time, as she stopped with her shopping kart to stare at me with an expression of surprise as if she didn’t expect to meet me here, as I woke up myself right away, surprised as well to have met her again. I remember that I hoped to meet someone like her in such place back then but I don’t recall if it was before or after this little dream. Anyway…

I’ll keep this journal updated so I can at least do some sort of personal research out in the open…